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Documenting not dying since October 2013.

The 24th & 25th; Going to have to embrace this face.

The 24th & 25th; Going to have to embrace this face.

 The 24th of June.

Thank god, I am slightly less tired today. Incredible, considering I woke up at quarter to six and didn't really go back to sleep afterwards. I did have a larger coffee this afternoon, so maybe that helped? The gabapentin dose certainly isn't high enough though - when making the coffee, my back started hurting during the first espresso, which is no good at all.

Got a blog post done very quickly this morning, because I am composing them on my iPad at the moment due to lack of being able to lack of being able to see my own handwriting close up, so I don't need to copy them from my Moleskine into my blog.

I sat watching Victoria Derbyshire, getting quietly furious about both Boris and Jeremy (or not so quietly, considering I regularly reply to whoever is talking despite the fact that they can't hear me), so I decided I would try to cast on some knitting with some chunky wool and large needles, and I can knit! I'm not capable of anything complicated or much smaller than a 6mm needle, but it'll be something to do with my hands that'll keep me occupied until I can make my Moomin jumper! Going to have a lot of cat blankets.

After lunch, I had another go at my exercises, considering I wasn't feeling so tired, and I was actually able to do them all! Then, when I came back downstairs, I went into the wardrobe in Grandma's room and found my kettlebells, so I retrieved the 2kg (not going mad straight away). I watched the new IZombie and two episodes of Jessica Jones, and did some basic arm lifts. Nothing to write home about, but after my left shoulder struggled with blow-drying my hair the other day, I thought it might help to try to strengthen my arms a bit. Plus that was a good distraction from how much I envy Rachael Taylor's (Trish Walker) bone structure. Not having my glasses is a massive change; I have worn them for twenty years and I don't really know my face without them. I have managed to get confident about the way I look with them, and they were a good diversion from all the things I don't like about my face. I wish my nose was smaller, my lips were fuller, more symmetrical, all the same colour. I wish my jaw was smaller and my cheekbones more prominent. I'm going to have to get used to all of those things being more obvious. And to be honest, I don't suppose anybody notices them, but I do. I messed about on FaceTune to see how I would look if I changed all the things I would like to, and it isn't enormously different! So I wonder if I should care so much? I can't change any of these things. I take so much pride in being the person who copes with all the curveballs life throws at them, and this is just another one I have to accept. It's just one that has sneakily been there all the time, hiding behind my frames. Going to have to embrace this face.

The 25th of June.

Feeling much better today. The drowsiness does seem to have worn off, thankfully, so I seem to be able to conduct my daily business more normally again. I woke up a bit early, and had the radio on but they started talking about Boris so I listened to some music instead and ended up having a nice little bop in bed to the Swedish Eurovision entry.

First thing this morning, I checked on the availability of the skirt I tried to purchase back at the end of May. I keep forgetting, and when I get round to looking, there are only tiny sizes left, so yesterday I set a reminder to do it early. Did it, and there were size 10s in stock! I received a confirmation email and haven't had a second one saying "Sorry but you actually can't have this" so I feel confident that it will be delivered this time. Fingers crossed.

The weather was due to be hideous all day, so I asked Daddy if he wanted to go to the cinema to see the new Toy Story this afternoon. He was on board with that, so I booked us some seats.

After lunch, he managed to actually be ready on time, and we arrived at StarCity really quite early! Early enough for me to go into the new Costa and get myself a mocha instead of the disgusting cinema coffee that tastes like the bin, and we were still inside before the adverts started.

The film is just charming. Classic lovely Pixar. We get to find out why Bo Peep wasn't in the last one, there is some mild peril, I laughed a lot, and only cried once! I'd say that makes a good movie. Some new characters that make great additions, and we get to the end of Woody's arc. Plus the animation is just stunning. Gabby Gabby's eyes are absolutely beautiful, and there is an antique shop that makes you want to pause the film so you can stop and take it all in.

I was ever so slightly distracted by the two year old sat behind me, who did not understand "Shhh" when it was said by her parents. Here's a tip - if your child is still young enough to shit itself while you're at the cinema, it's probably too young to be in the cinema. I realise I'm a 28 year old woman at what is supposed to be a children's film (who are they kidding), but I don't care. Take your kid to a screening with all the other babies. Thank you, from all the other cinema-going adults who understand the etiquette.

Now I'm trying to decide what colours to get my hair done tomorrow. I'm thinking pinks/purples but it depends on what Gemma has in. Another surprise!

The 26th & 27th; It's nice to get good news from him occasionally.

The 26th & 27th; It's nice to get good news from him occasionally.

The 22nd & 23rd; Curse the goddamn Gabapentin.

The 22nd & 23rd; Curse the goddamn Gabapentin.