The 13th & 14th; How cold New York looks in the winter.
The 13th of December. Feeling that particular type of melancholy that comes after a double Zopiclone. I'm sure I'm perfectly fine, I'm just disappointed at no specific thing.
I slept late because I wasn't going to get up to watch Sunday Brunch when I could watch it on delay and have more time in the dreamless sleep I get with medical assistance. I formulated a blog post and made one snowball. Five left. Plus their little hats.
This afternoon, we went to see Carol, which is a shame because it probably means won't really remember it, but I suppose at least I'll forget the excruciating awkwardness of watching the sex scene with Daddy. At least we were in Gold Class so I felt like I could've been alone.
It didn't make me sad in the way I expected it to. I thought I'd just be grieving for the love affair I have forsaken, but I'm actually just unhappy about how shit people can be, how attitudes were, are, even if someone is hurting, it's no excuse, how cold New York looks in the winter.
The 14th of December.
Another bad night - not only did it take me ages to get to sleep again, I also had a terrifying dream about loads of spiders, some of which were as big as my bedroom wall. It was very upsetting.
I have been doing Christmassy things all day, so the kitty is very sad. I need to go and see him when I've finished doing this. This morning I crocheted one small and two medium-sized snowball chaps, and had a visit from a man from the oxygen company. They just have to come twice a year to check everything is okay and I don't need anything new. I've thankfully not needed it since last winter when I was confined to the house because I couldn't breathe without the tank, and I'm just hoping I make it past my birthday without it too.
After lunch, I went to the dining room and spent four hours wrapping presents and writing cards. Irritatingly, I need another ribbon of each colour and another packet of tags, so that's Wednesday morning. I watched The Polar Express and made myself a Buck's Fizz white hot chocolate to drink while I folded paper and tied ribbons. My back is aching dreadfully - I need to have a lie down, stretch out.
The dining room table is covered in glitter.