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Documenting not dying since October 2013.


Someone I know is dying. I say "know", I've actually only met him once. His name is Stephen Sutton, you might have heard his name in the press or on social media in the last few days. He's been terminal since 2012, and at that point, he decided he wanted to try and raise as much money for Teenage Cancer Trust as possible. At the weekend, he ended up in hospital with serious breathing difficulties because the tumours have caused his right lung to collapse. He'd raised half a million pounds or so by then, but today he reached a million. As far as I'm aware, he's still here, lying in the TCT unit at the QE on oxygen. He knows what's going on, how wonderful everyone is being. I know I should be impressed and I am, but my overwhelming feeling is that I want to go and ask him what it's like. I feel so selfish but all the news of his imminent death is doing for me is making my own all the more real. He's said he's sorry for not being able to say goodbye to everyone, and that is the thing I am most afraid of. Not having enough time to tell people how I really feel about them, just ticking along like everything is normal, then being rushed into hospital and probably dead within days and me just not being ready for it.

The 22nd & 23rd; I've been on the precipice of tears all day because of Stephen.

The 20th & 21st; I would really rather avoid being stabbed in the tongue.