In one of the stars I shall be living.

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The 1st & 2nd; We have a plan and I'm happier.

The 1st of September.

Ughhh awake since half past three after a particularly disturbing dream in which I chomped down on my own eyeball, then somehow spat the whole thing out. It was not a fun dream.

This morning I drafted a blogpost that I haven't got round to publishing, and I've had to keep my feet elevated again because I'm still retaining fluid. It's difficult to do anything about my arms - I'm not sure what's going on, but I will tell/show Ram kn Wednesday. Might need the stent putting in. Bah.

This afternoon, we cleaned out Hamilton's cage - this will be a weekly Monday occurrence. He will come out into my hands now without needing a treat to entice him, and sit on my lap and be happily stroked. I am so glad we are friends now.

Andrea the Italian was on X Factor last night! The internet loved him because he wore a pug jumper. I can't wait to see his Wembley audition again; it was so great. 

I have finished The Miniaturist and it's excellent. Definitely read it if you have been toying with the idea. 

Tomorrow is my appointment at the Women's Hospital. Thank fuck, because I need some answers. 

The 2nd of September.

Very productive morning! Awake at three, blah blah blah, but I've had enough coffee so it's fine.

The menopause clinic was running late so I didn't get seen for my 10:15 appointment until about 11:30, but I had the paper to read and I'd just realised I'd cocked up the sudoku when I got called. I had my obs done, saw a specialist nurse who just did some background and asked stuff they need to know. Then I went in to see Dr. Robinson who is very nice and going to be helpful. We talked a bit, then I had my first smear (which she had to get a smaller speculum for, FYI) and a swab taken which was not my favourite. She was maybe going to do a biopsy of the wall of my uterus but decided against it as it was apparently going to be very uncomfortable for me. I was fine with her not doing it. She's also requested an ultrasound, and because my bleeding is technically "post-menopausal", it has to be done within two weeks. If there's an abnormality, I'll have another hysteroscopy like I did in 2008, and she'll also put in a mirena coil which will release progesterone every month, because she thinks I need more and that's actually why I'm bleeding. If the scan's fine, I'll just have the coil and carry on with the patches. So we have a plan and I'm happier. 

Went into town on the way home to take back a book that I'd already bought, and some pyjama tops because I'd bought too many, really, then we came home and fed our rumble tummies! This afternoon we watched 3 food programmes, and it started A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami. Becky came round, and she is not looking forward to tomorrow when all the kids return after the "summer plummet". I could not be a teacher. 

Hamilton is chewing the bars again and being mental. Sigh. 

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