The 1st & 2nd; Like being behind one way glass.

The 1st of July. Standard Saturday. To a degree. This morning I didn't want to get up but forced myself. I blogged, then I read the paper and did the puzzles. Very sub-par performance on those today. After lunch, I went over the road because Becky, Lorna and I were going back to the dress shop for our second dress fittings. My straps had to be shortened again and now she's pinned up the bottom so it should all be fine now. 

When I got home, I watched an episode of Hannibal, and part of Humans while I crocheted a raccoon ear. Just as I was finishing, Daddy called down the stairs to ask if it was a good time to go and see Ant-Man. As it happened, there was a showing in half an hour so I sorted myself out and off we went. 

It was a pretty busy screening with lots of children, far too many for me to shush. I did have to turn around and give one a stern stare for messing with its feet. The film was fun, lots of silliness, and we stayed until the bitter end of the credits for spoilers. 

Got back and it was time for tea! Mommy had done Tom Kerridge's côte de boeuf and it was tasty. Now I'm not looking at Fabrice Muamba on The Cube because it's stressful, waiting for Katherine to be on (when I'll hide behind a cushion).

The 2nd of July.

Jessie is finished! This morning I sat in front of Sunday Brunch and worked on his tail (apparently, Jessie is a him). It was the first time I'd done the fur stitch and it was tricky at first, but I got the hang of it. I actually finished it earlier than I expected it to!

After lunch, Mommy washed my hair, then she and Daddy went to get Grandma from church lunch, and I got up to date with Humans and Hannibal. The rest of my afternoon was just piecing Jessie together. Mommy was really happy when I presented him to her. Big hug. 

We're watching The Biggest Loser and they're dealing with their fears. They're all afraid of failure and not changing their lives. They're so lucky that this is all they have to worry about. I'm afraid of things like my parents dying, I'm afraid of being wrong about life after death, if it does exist and I have to watch everyone on earth without being able to participate. Like being behind one way glass. I'm not scared of getting sick again. I have accepted my lot in life, and it doesn't thrill me. I'd certainly rather die before my parents. Sometimes I think it would be okay for it to all be over. But for some reason, I still have hope.