The 30th of January. Oh thank God it's Thursday night and I can find out what's going on with my body in the morning. Although my period started today so I'll be retaining fluid. Fuck. I need to get my head out of this space but I really don't know what to do. Fucking fucking hell.

It's been another quiet day - we went to M&S for more soup, but that's all. I considered going into Sutton with Mommy this morning, but then it started snowing relatively heavily and I didn't really fancy that.

I've written my thank you cards for my birthday, and sorted out my jumper drawer so I can actually close it now.

Hm. I have no idea what I'm going to weigh in the morning and I'm scared of how I'll react, no matter what it is.

The 31st of January.

I actually had a pretty reasonable sleep last night! Got up at like, eight, without lying awake for the two hours prior, which was a novelty.

Mommy had already gone to the doctor about her hand, and came back while I was making my breakfast. Apparently she's got some form of eczema and has been prescribed the same steroid cream that I have.

I got on the scales, and I've lost some of the weight I put on, so I'm somewhat relieved. Today has been less stressful in terms of eating as I've been away from temptation for the majority of it - this morning Mommy washed my hair and I drank a lot of coffee, and this afternoon, Daddy and I went to see Inside Llewyn Davis. It's a nice film. I worried about the kitties. It's interesting to see Carey Mulligan being all sweary and angsty, after watching An Education so recently. I like the music; I downloaded the soundtrack. It made me miss performing in front of people. I liked being applauded and appreciated for something I could do well. It's a shame I will not get to be on stage again.

There are developments in The Luminaries. It's different from anything else I've read, even The Rehearsal. But it's good.